Wednesday, August 26th, 2009The Body:Gateway to the Self
Earlier in the summer, I completed the first year of a three year program preparing Biodynamic Craniosacral therapists. During the week, osteopath and teacher, Franklyn Sills, director of London based Karuna institute, explained that each person has to create a self. From embryo to child and adult, that self is developed by feeling. Sills emphasized that we FEEL SELF. We do not think self. I would add that we also SENSE SELF in our bodies.
Sills would stop the class and in a delightfully innocent and child friendly manner, lean forward head cocked to one side and say, "I see you." He was replicating a little game wise parents have played for generations letting the child know that he or she is seen. He or she is a separate person, a self, and a wise parent recognizes a baby's selfhood. That innocent little game is played instinctively as a stairway to self..
All animals especially our family members, the mammals, have unique ways of nurturing their young and encouraging growth and independence. Even birds after a period of dropping juicy worms into the uplifted mouths of their young, teach the little sparrows to catch worms. Once they sense how it is done, mamma bird kicks them out of the nest. They have graduated to selfhood and the graduation gift is a key to an independent life.
According to Sills, we are beings and at the heart of our beingness we have three basic needs: recognition, acknowledgement and unconditional acceptance. As the embryo meets his mother's womb, there is a deep need for acknowledgement and acceptance. 'I exist, I am, I deserve to be!"
Unfortunately, many children are not recognized but seen through the parent's projections and needs. The child fails to receive those welcoming words, 'I see you." At a deep physical level they do not feel accepted just as they are but must strive to be what a parent requires. Not acknowledged as separate from the parent, their life is colored by rebellion or a loss of vitality, a draining of self and physical coherence. << Back to the Blog