Tuesday, May 26th, 2009Masters of the Universe and Invisible Mothers
Our current Economic crises highlights horrendous outcomes fueled by narcissistic "masters of the universe" who see "the other" simply as pawns in greedy financial games. Their clients, whether frail eighty year olds living on a pension or single young mothers skimping to save college money were not seen as valuable humans with needs. Instead the narcissist charmed and cajoled them to trust him as he played irresponsible games with their frugal funds. How did this happen? Were the "masters of the universe" once children who took their parents for granted? Did they see themselves as the center of the universe? Where did they learn that acquisition of money and power were more desirable values then generosity of spirit, respect and compassion for fellow humans?.
What led to such an influx of highly educated 'leaders" who thought nothing of ripping off their friends and clients? Did styles of childrearing lead to this master- servant interaction where they "legally" stole and lied to clients who trusted them showing no remorse, only a sense of entitlement? Did these narcissistic "masters of the universe" have invisible mothers who met their every need and permitted the young master to treat his mother as servant? Were they taught that boundaries existed and although their needs were important, others including parents also experienced need and had rights worthy of respect.
I remember a big cream colored poster in my first grade classroom. It read "Do unto others as you would have others do unto you". With my navy blue pleated skirt and starched white blouse, I knew that I was not the center of the universe. Rather, respect for our parents was demanded and respect for teachers was obligatory. We were taught that each person in the world, rich or poor, light or dark, tall or short , each one deserved respect . What happened to create this drain in respect and outpouring of greed and acquisitiveness? It would be interesting to study children of invisible mothers and contrast their behaviors with those of children from homes in which both parents are visible. I have hunches from families seen in my office over thirty years but research is needed to increase our certainty. What are your thoughts? Let's share them.
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